I've not writted for AGES! Zante was great, there are no bikini snaps, thanks to mother nature I wasn't feeling my best, teamed with some god awful sunburn 2 days in, I covered up quite a bit! But, here I am playing golf...
So, my latest dilemma is that two of my friends are getting married on July 15th, and I want to look nice, as my sister got married last year and I was bridesmaid, when I saw the photos I cried cos I just looked awful, I'd been trying to lose weight but I put my back out doing a Davina DVD and couldn't exercise much in the run up to the wedding. On a positive note, that injury gave me cravings for soup, which very much helped me in losing the 2.5 stone afterwards!
I have two dresses for this wedding, one for the day, and one for the evening:
This is the dress I'll be wearing during the day (notice the beautiful Nathan Followill in the background!), it fits well and is quite flattering, but the material is quite clingy, and I'm worried the dreaded back fat will be on show!
This is the dress I'll be wearing on the evening, it's quite forgiving and so comfy, but it's kind of a wrapover, which will make me quite conscious of showing too much leg if I make any sudden movements!
I'm under no illusions that in 2 weeks I can healthily make any drastic changes to myself, but anything is better than nothing, so I've been swimming a lot recently, each time trying to do a bit more than the last, and I'm also walking to work whenever I get the opportunity, it makes me feel good to know that I'm at least making an effort if nothing else.
Actually, I wanted to see what everyone else sees, so I took a photo of myself the other day (underwear, not naked lol and no, I won't be uploading it!) and put it on my laptop, and I was surprised! I've always hated my stomach and thought it was my worst bit, but, fair enough I''ve got a bit of podge, but I've also got a waist, and I love it! I've also relaised that my thighs are actually worse than I thought, so I'm going to pay more attention to those now instead. Do you know what? Yeah, I'm a big girl, and yeah, I could do with losing a bit of weight, but there's no shame in being a size 14 as long as you're eating the right things and doing some exercise.
I saw a picture of Robyn Lawley, a plus size model, and she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen...she's a size 16!
Here's me trying to get down to a size 12 because I feel 'fat' as a size 14, but if I looked like her there's not a thing I'd change!
So there you go. I'm trying to accept my body as it is and just take a healthier outlook on life rather than beating myself up and trying to force changes that may or may not happen, you don't need to be stick thin to be beautiful :)