Update!

 So, my posts have been sooooo few and far between lately, I need to pull my finger out while I have the time, cos I soon won't have much free time at all!
 I last left you a few weeks before I was due to attend a wedding of 2 very good friends of mine. It happened on August 15th, and it was a beautiful day with lots of sunshine :) I managed to keep working out and swam up to 5 times a week leading up to the big day, and for all there were no significant changes to my body, I felt better knowing I had made an effort to look good :)
 HOWEVER the day dress (blue maxi pictured on previous post) turned out to be a bit of a disaster, so 5 minutes before I was due to leave I decided I HAD to change. I wn't go into details about the disaster, but I was gutted, and I ended up settling for a black maxi dress as I had nothing else appropriate to wear, and to be honest I felt like I was dressed more for a funeral than a wedding :(

 I love these photos, but the dress clearly let the side down here...thankfully tho, I was able to get back to our hotel room and change for the evening do, and I felt 100000000000 times better - and I think the pictures show how an outfit you're comfortable in makes such a dramatic difference in how you look:

 above is me and my teeny tiny totally beautiful bezza Ruksana, and below is me and my lovely manfriend John :)

I am totally in love with this dress, would definitely wear it again and again!

 July turned out to be quie the eventful month. Not only did I attend a gorgeous wedding, but I officially got my degree in Sociology with Psychology (graduation in November, scary cap and gown moments!) and I also had my hair coloured ginger....yes, it was voluntary, and I love it!

 ey up ginger nut!!!

 I'm generally feeling quite happy and confident this month, I've also managed to get a job doing some bank hours as a support worker in a mens mental health rehabilitation unit, and I've spent a bit of time with old friends I went to school and college with, I wanted to show them the delights of Hartlepool and it was so much fun :)

 Me and Laura, we go waaaaaayyyy back! I wish I could say there were photos of me looking less drunk, but there weren't! Such a good night though...and I adore this dress too, I'm thinking blue is my colour!

 As you can see, I've been quite busy!

 I still stand by what I said in my last post, however I also strongly believe that (personally) the less I look after myself, the more crap I feel, so I do want to continue making an effort to get healthy and shape up so that I can always feel confident and know I'm not a slob.
 So I've been keeping up with my swimming, it's pretty much the only exercise I can do that doesn't hurt my back, I've been twice this week and plan on going again Friday and Saturday. I'm also walking to work whenever I stay at John's house, and when my back calms I'm going to start with my little girl weights again too cos I'm hating my arms! As well as this, me and a couple girls at work are keeping food diaries, I would recommend it to anyone who wants a bit of shock treatment. Seeing it all written down works wonders! By doing this I've come to realise how erratic my eating pattern is: some days I will stuff my face with chocolate, crisps and pizzas and not feel full, and like today, I've had two yoghurts and a stir fry and don't feel hungry at all! I've learned I need a steady, regular pattern of eating in order for my body to work with me, as I want to be back into my size 12s by Christmas. If anyone wants to send me any size 12 skinny jeans as motivation, feel free!
 I want to go travelling a bit this year, I'm off to London yet again next month, and I'm also thinking Barcelona as a graduation treat, my friend Dan is moving to the Ukraine for a while so I'd like to visit him. There's also a hen do in Magaluf in the pipeline, and John and I also want to go to New York and Canada next year so I can see where he used to live :) that's a lot of kodak moments and I want to look and feel great for them!

 I'm hearing a lot of good things about green tea being an amazing fat burner and metabolism booster, and I know we sell it at work so I'm going to give it a try, I'll let you know how it goes! I really don't like tea at all, I'm a coffee girl through and through, so it may be an acquired taste for me!

 I think I'm up to date now, apologies for the super long post, I'll hopefully be back a bit sooner next time! x

Wedding season!!!

 Yoohooo!!!
 I've not writted for AGES! Zante was great, there are no bikini snaps, thanks to mother nature I wasn't feeling my best, teamed with some god awful sunburn 2 days in, I covered up quite a bit! But, here I am playing golf...

apparently I'm looking a bit slimmer here, I don't see it myself, it's not the best photo, but I appreciated the compliments all the same! Also apparently I've lost weight off my face, I still think I've got a whopper of a double chin, but at certain angles I can see it:

 So, my latest dilemma is that two of my friends are getting married on July 15th, and I want to look nice, as my sister got married last year and I was bridesmaid, when I saw the photos I cried cos I just looked awful, I'd been trying to lose weight but I put my back out doing a Davina DVD and couldn't exercise much in the run up to the wedding. On a positive note, that injury gave me cravings for soup, which very much helped me in losing the 2.5 stone afterwards!

 I have two dresses for this wedding, one for the day, and one for the evening:

This is the dress I'll be wearing during the day (notice the beautiful Nathan Followill in the background!), it fits well and is quite flattering, but the material is quite clingy, and I'm worried the dreaded back fat will be on show!

This is the dress I'll be wearing on the evening, it's quite forgiving and so comfy, but it's kind of a wrapover, which will make me quite conscious of showing too much leg if I make any sudden movements!

 I'm under no illusions that in 2 weeks I can healthily make any drastic changes to myself, but anything is better than nothing, so I've been swimming a lot recently, each time trying to do a bit more than the last, and I'm also walking to work whenever I get the opportunity, it makes me feel good to know that I'm at least making an effort if nothing else.

Actually, I wanted to see what everyone else sees, so I took a photo of myself the other day (underwear, not naked lol and no, I won't be uploading it!) and put it on my laptop, and I was surprised! I've always hated my stomach and thought it was my worst bit, but, fair enough I''ve got a bit of podge, but I've also got a waist, and I love it! I've also relaised that my thighs are actually worse than I thought, so I'm going to pay more attention to those now instead. Do you know what? Yeah, I'm a big girl, and yeah, I could do with losing a bit of weight, but there's no shame in being a size 14 as long as you're eating the right things and doing some exercise.

 I saw a picture of Robyn Lawley, a plus size model, and she is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen...she's a size 16!

 Here's me trying to get down to a size 12 because I feel 'fat' as a size 14, but if I looked like her there's not a thing I'd change!

 So there you go. I'm trying to accept my body as it is and just take a healthier outlook on life rather than beating myself up and trying to force changes that may or may not happen, you don't need to be stick thin to be beautiful :)

 x







Feeling good :)

Hi all!
 So, last time I wrote I said I'd do some form of exercise every day until I go on holiday, and yesterday was the first and only day I have missed, so I'm feeling pretty good as I didn't think it'd last beyond a week! I missed yesterday as it was my first day of exams and we went for a well earned meal. I've had the odd cheeky takeaway but other than that I feel like I'm doing well :) I've been walking, doing exercises in the house like I told you all about last time, and I've even faced my fear of the Davina DVD after I did it last year and put my back out, and it completely knackered me, exhibit A:



I probably should've taken off my make up first! I've been experimenting with porridge too, as it's not great on it's own, my latest discovery (thanks to Katie Rogers for this!) is porridge, blueberries and...Nutella!!!

Looks foul but it was well tasty, and filling! On one pack it said to have 50g, but that was FAR too much, another pack said 38g which was still too much, this portion here was 30g, I struggled to eat it all but think I did well :)

 I'm still sticking in with the houmous, and Kirsty suggested to have melba toast with my soup instead of bread, never looked back, it was lovely and has virtually no calories!

 I went to Tesco today, I usually buy myself at least one naughty treat, but I didn't :D

It's a proud moment! I've never tried the pomegranate before, hope it's tasty!

 I have two exams left over the next week and we go to Zante a week on Sunday, bought a few new clothes, even though I said I wouldn't, I'm a typical female sometimes even though I hate to admit it! But look at this dress!!



Can't wait to wear this on holiday, and I'm actually quite likely to wear it in the UK too :)

 Overall I'm feeling great, I haven't lost anything but I'm told I'm looking good lately, that's enough for me for now!

 Anyhoo, I have lots of revision to do then I'm off on my holidays, so I don't know if I'll get chance to write til I return home, so the next post will probably involve some bkini snaps so we can see how I'm really doing!

 x



Last minute holiday = BEACH BODY PANIC!!!!

 Hi All!
 I've not written in ages for one reason or another, but I've been thinking I should really start back up again, so here goes!
 I've finished bootcamp now, and although I really worked hard at it, I didn't stick to the diet (meals are fine, snacking in between isn't a different story!) so only lost 4lbs, but luckily I've lost an inch and a quarter off my waist and I'm still feeling good about myself...BUT...yesterday, I booked a holiday to Zante, and we leave 3 weeks today, I officially need to up my game!
 So, it's early days, but I had cereal for breakfast, chicken pasta salad for lunch, a healthy tea with more salad, and instead of the Ben and Jerry's Half Baked that I bought half price at Tesco for our DVD (Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows =D) snack, I had houmous and sesame seed breadsticks... so proud of me! And to top it off, before the dvd, me and John did a mini exercise routine in his house, including lots of step ups, squats, lunges, crunches, and some press ups using an exercise ball cos that's the only way I can do them! I also walked to work and back :)
 This morning I got up and did more step ups, lunges, squats, press ups and crunches, then I had porridge for breakfast with a touch of golden syrup and a handful of strawberries...it was ok I suppose lol was meant to have blueberries too but they weren't ripe.
 As I said, it's early days, but I'm trying to make sure I do some form of exercise each day, be it strength training at home, a run, swim, gym, walk to work, or aqua aerobics. They're not particularly strenuous but if I do what I can each day between work and revision, it should help, and I'm feeling good already, lets just hope I can keep it up for the next 3 weeks, Zante here we come! I wish I had a pic of how I look right now to compare, but all my recent photos are of me rather drunk (been naughty the last few weeks!) and you can't really see my figure, I'll get one for my next post.
 Time for a walk, until next time...
 x

no pain no gain!!!

Hi all!
 So it's been ages since I last wrote, so I'll start where I left off n bring you up to speed :)

 Last Tuesday was AWFUL!!! I had my usual healthy breakfast and lunch, but as mother nature paid me a visit and work was REALLY bad, I ended up snacking loads too. To make up for it, I walked to the gym, smashed out 600 calories while I was there, then walked back and just had soup for tea :)
 On Wednesday I was meant to get a tattoo, and in my excitement I missed breakfast so grabbed a cereal bar and ate it on my walk into town, then had a chicken sandwhich from Greggs and some crisps and a skinny frappe. My tattoo ended up being postponed as he got a migraine while he was doing Traceys tattoo, so was a bit disappointed but it couldn't be helped, but to top it off, I got a bad mark on a uni essay so felt a bit down :( had chicken, chips and salad for tea, then moped about til bed time.
 So I was meant to get my tattoo on Thursday instead, so I got up early and made sure I had my usual breakfast, got a skinny frappe while I was there but threw half of it away cos I felt sick with nerves lol my tattooist still had a migraine when I got there, so I fgot myself a new top so it wasn't a totally wasted journey! Had soup for lunch when I got back home and had chicken rogan josh with veg, rice and naan bread for tea, and some rice Pringles a bit later on.
 Friday is definately tattoo day, whoop!!! Had my breakfast and a skinny frappe, and munched on fruit pastels and lucozade throughout so I didn't go woozy, and here is the finished result...

...it's taken from the song 'King of the Rodeo' by Kings of Leon, and the stars are an old tattoo that I really don't like, I'm really pleased with it, going to get some more colour added to it though so it looks more like one whole tattoo :) was pretty knackered after as being tattoo'd wears me out, so went to the galley with Tracey and had a chicken burger and chips, naughty!!! Was naughty later too and went to TGI Fridays, but there was no other snacking, so I don't feel too guilty cos I know I'll work it off :)
 I walked to work on Saturday, had nutella on wholemeal toast and a skinny frappe for breakfast. For lunch I had half a tin of vegetable soup and a brown bun, it wasn't very nice and I was still hungry, so I had some malteasers :S I walked home from work and went to the gym too, was a bit disappointed cos I did half an hour on the cross trainer and only got 580 calories off :( I've decided I'm not going to have any pizza while I'm at bootcamp, so had one for tea, and that's it for 5 weeks, it's gonna be hard!
 On Sunday I slept in cos I'd been so tired, so had breakfast at lunch time, and for tea I made me and John some fajhita's with brown wraps, a bit of mash and a huge salad, followed by low cal ice cream and strawberries :)
 On Monday I drove to work, had my usual breakfast and lunch, and some strawberries with a bit of Nutella on them, was lush! I started bootcamp too, we got weighed and measured, which was horrible, felt so minging :( then we did a fitness test, which included being timed to see how many burpees, star jumps, sit ups, push ups, lunges and squats we can do in a minute, then we did the bleep test...it is now Wednesday and my legs are still killing me! Me and John went out for tea after that, and seeing as I've ran out of my iron supplement, I had a burger, chips and salad...not the best thing I suppose but it was nice lol
 Yesterday morning I was in pain from bootcamp but I walked to work anyway, I figure if I keep snacking like I am then I'm going to have to get over it and power through and do any exercise I can, it's my own fault, so if I wanna eat then I'm going to have to work even harder! I had my usual breakfast and lunch, then pasta bake for tea, but there was too much so I left half. I had some strawberries, and had a couple of them with nutella, but I'm trying to go without lol
 Today I missed breakfast, but had my soup for lunch, and a bit of easter egg, then I'll have a yoghurt before bootcamp tonight and maybe an apple. Going to Frankie and Benny's with Kirsty tonight, so got to be good!
 I'm supposed to have lost 6lb by the first of April, but I haven't lost anything :( gonna step up my game now I'm at bootcamp, think I'm gonna have to hit the gym too if I want 2 stone off by July!!

sometimes, you can't have your cake and eat it too :(

 Hiyaaaa! It's been a while, and I'm on a new laptop, so there'll be more mistakes than usual!

  Eeeeesh it's been a week since I wrote! I'll start from the beginning:

 Last Saturday I was good, I had pasta bake, chicken, veg and garlic bread...then I nicked a slice of pizza off John J (my John's lodger), but burned it off on the Sunday...we went for lunch at the Galley, only ate half of it (they don't do kids portions of what I like), then I had a skinny frappe and we (me and John) went to Barnard Castle and had a nice long walk through the woods, got covered in mud by an excitable dog, then we went to a tea room for a scone and a cuppa...I promise you I'm 23, not a pensioner! After that we went to the Tall ships for tea and I had grilled lemon chicken with the biggest salad I have ever seen!!! Turned down dessert cos I knew I had strawberries and low calorie ice cream waiting for me, but we got back and the strawberries didn't look nice, so I just had the ice cream, was tasty for low cal!!!
 Monday was my usual Starbucks breakfast before uni, Boots bbq chicken wrap, crisps and water for lunch, and Sunday dinner for tea...nothing eventful!
 Tuesday was work 8-6, so I took some Nutella and brown bread with me and had breakfast there, soup and brown bun for lunch, was looking forward to aqua and it got cancelled AGAIN, so in a fit of rage I went to the chippy for tea and had a couple of cans of Scrumpy Jack...feel so guilty and look back over my old photos and wondered why I ever called myself fat, if I was this size again I'd never complain! :

 On Wednesday I was on call for my volunteer work, and I got called before I had chance for breakfast, so almost ended up with Snack-A-Jacks, but then I couldn't do the call so had some toast and juice, followed by soup for lunch :) had my gym induction, it's a nice small gym, so not too intimidating, will definitely be going whenever I can! Had chicken stir fry for tea with rice noodles, then we went to see Elbow at Newcastle :)
 Thursday was hectic! Only had time for a glass of orange then had to go collect my wages before uni, so got a skinny white coconut mocha for the journey to uni...lunch was a mozarella and tomato panini and light frappe, then straight off to another lecture, started to feel quite down and got a bad stomach, so went home early, don't know what came over me but I was just feeling really sad and awful, didn't help that I was bloated and felt minging :( had pasta bolognaise for tea, then made Mam a shopping list of all the stuff I ate when I lost weight last year, I really need to get my fat arse into gear!!!
 Friday I made sure I got up at a decent time cos I had an essay to do, so I had my toast and juice then cracked on til lunch time, had my soup, then finished my essay, RELIEF!!! Had a chill out after that then Mam came home and took me to see her shop, then we went and got me a new laptop cos my old one was dying, then we went to Tesco and got loads of healthy stuff, like chicken, fish, veg etc, but by the time we got back it was getting late and we were too tired to cook, so ended up ordering pizza, how bad!!! Felt so guilty after, I set my alarm to get up and go to the gym first thing in the morning!!! As soon as I had breakfast I drove to Sophie's (friend/uni buddy/gym buddy) and we walked from hers (about 15 minutes) to the gym, and I did 10 minutes on bike, and 20 on cross trainer, got 400 calories off in total, then we walked back to Sophie's, then I drove to John's and from there we walked into town for lunch, which is about 20 minutes walk, then back again...I was soooo tired!!!
 That brings me to today, I didn't get very much sleep but I walked to work from John's anyway, I got the bus back to his when I was done, then went to the gym, I did the same as yesterday, plus 5 minutes on the rower, but didn't burn as many calories as yesterday cos I was tired :( made a lovely tea for me and Mam, we had garlic chicken (them bake in the bag ones), spicy wedges and salad, was lovely! I was going to have some cheesecake afterwards but my brother ate it, I was gutted but I suppose he did me a favour!!!

 My eating hasn't imporved a great amount this week but I feel better cos at least I'm excercising, and the rest is slowly following :) got a long day tomorrow so I'm not going to gym, but I'll be there Tuesday, and hopefully another 2 or 3 days throughout the week too...I might weigh myself next time now that I'm exercising...wish me luck!!!

well and truly off the wagon!!!

 So, the last few days have been a pretty embarassing 'attempt' at trying to lose weight, and so I have accepted that this week I will have lost nothing! I'll start from the beginning...

 Tuesday I had to work 8am-6pm, so I took my Nutella and a slice of wholemeal bread with me and made toast while I was opening up, followed by a skinny frappe...I went to Marks and Spencer for my usual tin of soup for lunch, and discovered it has 1100 calories in it, mortified! So settled for an alternative flavour which turned out to be utterly foul, so I basically just ate the bun, some Malteasers and some Lucozade, and was starving 10 minutes later :( when Kirsty (my colleague/friend) went for her lunch she bought my favourite spicy chicken sandwhich from Tesco (guilt free and very tasty!) and split it with me, and she also got me some Lilt as it isn't too calorie-tastic, so that cheered me up :) aqua aerobics ended up being cancelled, so me and Kirsty said we'd go for a walk, but the weather was horrendous so it ended up not happening...ended up on a downer and went to the chippy :( glad my gym induction is next week so when aqua gets cancelled in future I can still get some exercise.

 Wednesday I had work again, and I stayed in town overnight, so I walked in to make myself feel a bit better, made sure I had my nutella on toast and a glass of orange juice first...getting good at having breakfast now! Went to Tesco on my way home yesterday and bought some of their 'ight choices' soup, it's 180 calories, 50p a tin, and tastes just as good as any other soup, sorted! Had that for lunch and me and Kim (colleague/friend) decided we're both gonna try get 6lb off by April 1st, dunno if I'll do it cos I won't lose anything this week, but will hammer the gym as of next week, wish I could've had my induction sooner! Met up with Dan, one of my best friends, and we went to a lovely indian place in Durham, I had a chicken balti (one of the lesser evil curries I hear) and a garlic naan bread (garlic is good for the heart :p), no started, no dessert, no pint of cider to wash it down with, it's a proud moment! Massive glass of water before bed as the curry got me parched!

 Thursday I got up early enough to have my usual breakfast, went for my wages and had a skinny frappe while I was waiting (skinny frappes taste no different to whole milk frappes), followed by a low calorie bbq chicken wrap from Boots and a bottle of water for lunch...in between lectures we went to Starbucks and I got a 'whoopie pie' (tiny chocolate cake), and as soon as I bought it I kicked myself cos I'd completely forgot I shouldn't have it lol had a skinny cappucino tho so all isn't lost! On the evening I was really bad, I went to Lloyds curry club with Kirsty and had my usual balti and naan, but she got us onion bhaji's too and I devoured them, and washed them down with A LOT of alcohol, exhibit A:

I'm not doing good at all! I've given up cider tho and just stuck to vodka, I'm trying to make positives out of all of my mistakes as there's been so many!

 Friday I slept through breakfast so I made sure I had some juice when I got up, then had a tin of light choices tomato soup and a bun, then went to town and got a skinny frappe. Decided I have too much temptation so bought some weight watchers caramel slices, they're actually lovely! Had a pizza for tea and felt disgusting after, I've decided that was the last supper, and I'm only allowed a pizza in future if I can't remember the last time I had one, I did that last year and it ended up I only had one every 3 or 4 weeks :)

 Today I have had my breakfast, it's almost 3 o clock and I've not had lunch, I'm not hungry yet, but I'll have something soon :) was meant to be going for a meal with Tracey (good friend) but it's been cancelled, so I'm going to have pasta back, chicken and veg to be good :)

 Think I'm going to Barnard Castle with John tomorrow, might buy some sandwhiches en route so I can't be tempted to eat crap while I'm there! Aqua aerobics on Tuesday, Gym induction wednesday, then I'm going to go every time I'm in town, which I've worked out will be most days for at least the following week, so I'll get to undo this weeks damage after all!

day 1 and the big weigh in!

 So today has been quite hectic! I slept in, then had to de-ce my car (while wearing sunglasses!!!), and hit some traffic en route to uni, so as a result there was no time for my usual Starbucks breakfast of fruit toast and a cuppa before my 10am lecture, gutted! So I opter for a skinny mint mocha (no cream!) to go...on the plus side I had to power walk to my lecture to make it in time! After the lecture I walked back into town for a smoothie to make up for no breakfast, yum :) went into Tesco express while I was there and got myself a cajun chicken wrap, baked crisps and a bottle of water for lunch, which I ate during my seminar and stunk the room out :p got canny hungry by 3pm though, and found my new vice is spearmint polos and mint imperials! Dad is putting out Sunday dinner as we speak (we always have it on Mondays, don't ask), so will get my meat and veg there, and I've got to take an iron supplement with some fresh orange but after that I'll just stick to water and might have a cheeky glass of milk and a plain digestive for supper, lucky me!

 I've weighed and measured myself, so I know where I'm starting from now. I'm a size 12/14 on top, and 14 on bottom, 12 stone 11.5lbs, which gives me a BMI of 27.7, meaning I'm overweight but not obese, phew! Last year I went from a 37inch waist to a 32, and I'm now a 33, so not as bad as I thought :) going to keep re-doing these every week or so to measure my progress. Ideally I'd like to lose 2 stone, at least 3 inches of my waist, and drop a dress size.

 I've found a website called perfect-body-toning.com, which seems to have some good hints and tips, so going to look into that in more detail later.

 I'm working 8am-6pm tomorrow, so that'll keep me on my feet, then I'm going to aqua aerobics on the evening, looking forward to it. Will update next chance I get, wish me luck!

First post!

Hello!
 This is my first blog. Basically, last year I decided I wanted to lose 3 and a half stone. I'm 5ft 7.5, was almost 15 stone, and was a very uncomfortable size 14. I wanted to be 10.5-11 stone, and a comfortable size 12. Through careful eating, regualr walks and aqua aerobics, I manged to get down to12 stone 2lbs, and lost 5 inches off my waist and with only just over a stone to go I felt great, as I'd gone from looking like this (that's me 3rd along)...

 to this...

but since then, due to a change in circumstances that I won't go into, I've slowly managed to put almost a stone back on and I'm hating it. So now I'm on a mission to lose a good 2 stone. I have my gym induction next Wednesday, I'm trying to eat carefully again, and I'm starting bootcamp at the end of the month to give myself a little headstart.

 So the thinking behind the blog is that by making it public that I'll be less likely to quit, as any slip-ups will be boradcast on here and it'll be embarassing! I'm going to keep a diary of food, exercise, weight and inches lost (or gained!) and publish it all on here when I can so that I can keep myself motivated. I hope it works! I'll keep you updated...